Who fancies a laugh?
Well we hope you are easily amused because this page contains some of the corniest bingo jokes you have ever heard in your life.
Are they funny? Well we like them, but we’re a bit daft, so depending on your sense of humour they are either the best or worst bingo jokes the internet has to offer.
A lot of them are quite stereotypical so the older among us get a bit of a bashing, as do blondes, but don’t get mad at us, we didn’t write them!
Ready? Eyes down…
Bingo Jokes and Other Funnies
Ok, you ready?
Here they are, the most famous funny jokes and anecdotes about bingo that we have ever heard.
Hope you like them.
- What has loads of balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine!
- How do you make a room full of little old ladies swear? Get one of them to shout ‘Bingo!’.
- A husband was sick of spending every night at home alone, so he made his wife choose between him and bingo – she misses him dearly.
Knock knock.Who’s there?
Bin going to come and visit for ages.
- Don’t take your bingo too seriously; at the end of the day, it’s just a load of old balls.
- What do you call a pensioner who wins 3 bingo games in a row? A Jerry-hat-trick.
- How can you tell when a bingo player doesn’t want to talk to you? You call their numbers 3 times in a row and they still don’t pick up.
- If the bingo hall is locked, how do you get in? Knock at the door.
A man turns up to work with a big smile on his face, and his colleague asks:“You look very pleased with yourself Steve, did you get lucky last night?”
“I did,” Steve replies, “Twice. And only once was at the bingo.”
- Roses are red, violets are blue, bingo is cheaper than dinner for two.
- A man and wife were at the bingo, and the man kept looking at his wife’s card. The wife got annoyed and told him to focus on his own card. “I can’t,” he said, “it’s full.”
- A bingo night for all blondes was setting records as the longest game ever. Eventually, the bingo called read out the very last number and still none of the blonde ladies had raised their hands. “One of you must have won,” he said, “what are you all waiting for?”. “Free space” the blondes replied.
- My best friend has started using her bingo dabber on her own body. She’s gone dotty.
True Bingo Stories
That’s enough giggles for now, our faces are aching from all the laughing (that may not be 100% true).
What about a few true bingo stories to give us all a chance to calm down.
A Very Special Surprise
Residents of the Shire Hall care home in Cardiff got a bit of a shock in 2021, when their virtual game of bingo was called by a couple of famous faces.
None other than Prince William and Kate Middleton took over the game, calling numbers until they had a winner in a right royal game of bingo.
They weren’t necessarily the best bingo callers ever, as one of the residents commented that the bingo calling “Wasn’t as good as it should have been”, which the royal couple found hilarious, but everyone had a great time.
Fingers in the Till
Between 2012 and 2016, two greedy cashiers from the Pavilion Bingo Club in Liverpool had been stealing up to £20,000 a year from their employer.
The scam put the club in financial trouble and threatened all of their co-workers jobs, which considering the two thieves had been working there for 20 years is awful.
They got their comeuppance when they both went on holiday together using their ill-gotten gains and the manager noticed that takings were significantly higher while they were away. Both were jailed for a year.
Down on Your Knees
They might not have been 43, but Aaron Stott thought that his local Mecca Bingo hall was the ideal place to get down on one knee and propose to his girlfriend, Kayliegh. They were both regulars there afterall.
It was a very busy night and the bingo caller handed him the mic, and then he called up his beloved and popped the question. She said yes (thank goodness!) and the crowd cheered their congratulations before the games continued.
The proposal was filmed as well, and became an internet sensation being viewed over 100,000 times. Fellas, if you’re reading this, asking the big question at the bingo seems like a pretty successful way to get the answer you want. Who knows, a full house might even come soon after.
Let’s move on to some fun facts and bingo trivia now – it might even help you in a quiz one day:
- The biggest ever bingo win went to Soraya Lowell from Scotland who won £1,167,795! It was during The National Game in 2008.
- Some very famous people started out as bingo callers, including Shane Richie, Kian from Westlife, Simon from Blue, and Russell Crowe – the film Gladiator could have been very different if he brandished a dabber instead of a gladius!
- Over 3 million people in the UK play bingo at least twice a week – that’s almost 5% of the entire population.
- Catherine Zeta Jones’ Dad won the money to send her to theatre school on a game of bingo, so no bingo, no Catherine Zeta Jones.
- More money is spent on bingo each year in the UK than on football.
- From looking at the names of big winners, women called Margaret are the ‘luckiest’, so if that’s you then buy a few extra tickets for your next game.
- In Germany, bingo was used in schools to teach children about numbers.
- Robbie Williams played bingo with Daryl Hannah in the music video for ‘Feel’, and he used his old local bingo hall in Stoke for the location. Aww.